Hello!! It didn't take me 6 months to write!! Shocked? Yes, so am I! :)
Well, it has been an interesting week. First of all, Ben took all week off because he had some personal/business time that he had. He heard his company was contemplating changing the policies, so he decided to go ahead and take the time he had before he lost it! I was VERY appreciative! I love it when Ben is home. I feel like I can get EVERYTHING done when he's here!! Transitioning again when he goes back to work, however, will be daunting, but I won't think about that yet!!! :) Anyhoo, so the week got started on a great note! I was totally looking forward to an "easy-peasy" week, filled with awesome family time and laughs! While that has happened, we have also seen quite a few "autistic" days from Ryan. I can only assume it's because our regular routine has been interrupted. We have had lots of days out, which contributes to Ryan's anxiety. He has done pretty well all week until TODAY...cue the ominous music...dun, Dun, DUN!!!! :) I joke, but I wasn't very happy at the moment! So, we decided to beat the Friday night grocery shopping at walmart and went shortly after breakfast this morning. Ryan woke up super happy saying, "HI MOMMY!!!" Eyes squinting from the very bright kitchen light. I was encouraged to see him so happy. But then again Ryan is ALWAYS happy at home. It is his comfort. It is his routine. He can be Ryan at home. So, we ate breakfast, got dressed and flew out the door about 10am. Yah, that's pretty good for us and 4 children! As soon as we turn towards Walmart, Ryan spots the McDonalds which is right before Walmart. He says, "McDonalds? McDonalds?" We have had a few times at McDonalds lately and he has really started to enjoy it. It helps that he can now make it up the playplace pretty much independent from Gracie...though she helps him up occasionally! We started to say, "No, Ryan we are going to shop first, then we will eat lunch!" We were meeting a friend for lunch after shopping, so we were trying to get him off McDonalds. Well, we started driving into the Walmart parking lot and Ryan began to say, "No, goooo hooome. Gooooooooo Hoooooooooome!!!!!!!" I immediately know this is going to be a fight! When Ryan is out of his comfort and can't control his circumstances, he panics. We were starting a full-blown panic attack. We got him out of the van fine. But once we started towards Walmart, he broke loose from my hand and started running towards McDonalds. I start re-thinking this whole walmart trip...NO, I will not let this bad behavior win. I am going to try, try, try again. I took his hand and calmly tell him, "We are going to shop for groceries Ryan, then we will eat some lunch." We began to walk calmly into Walmart. Whew, I did it, I thought! We got completely in the door and Ryan began to scream. Anyone who knows Ryan knows that this kid can SCREAM! All I was thinking was these people probably think I am stealing this poor child away from his real mother! Ben and I tried to get him in the cart....that's definitely a no go! We ask if he wants to walk...that's also a no go! I am telling you, when Ryan has been pushed to the limit with his anxiety, there is absolutely NO PLEASING him. We can suggest everything possible, but he will not budge. I began to pray right there in the middle of Walmart with tears in my eyes. I tried to calm him down with every single thing I had. I was frustrated, annoyed, embarassed, exhausted...insert emotion here because I was definitely all of the above! But Ben in his AWESOMENESS said, "Nicole, you go shop, I will keep him calm." Thankfully, our friend that we were going to lunch with after shopping was there, so she helped me shop while Ben kept Ryan. So thankful for wonderful friends and a spouse that is so self-sacrificing!
So, now for some straight up honesty, this experience really hurt my heart. Every time I think Ryan is progressing and taking great strides, we have days like today! I know that God is in control and He will use this journey to strengthen me, but today I felt beat down. I am believing that I will see the other side of this "mountain" and thank the Lord for my "time in the trenches", but today belief is all I have.
Thank you, Lord, that your thoughts are above my thoughts and your ways are above my ways. I am believing you are for me and not against me. I am believing that You never leave me nor forsake me. I am believing that Ryan is my son for a reason. I am believing that You will use days like today for Your Glory. I am believing that Ryan was made to bring people into Your Kingdom. I am believing Your Word. I am believing that Your promises are sure. I am believing that you knit every piece of Ryan together in my womb. I am believing that Benjamin and I are made to parent Ryan in the exact way You want him to be parented. I am believing.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
"Alone Time" January 16, 2012
Well, it's 2012! Wow, a new year usually equals a new season for me! And boy, what a season I have found myself in! First of all, my pastor (Tim Lawson) has called a fast for the month of January to pray about some specifics about this year and our church! Exciting times, but also a time of stepping out in faith! I was at a loss as to what I should fast. I can't fast food because I am still breastfeeding, I fasted the internet last time...I asked the Lord what He wanted me to give up. I decided to wake up early one morning because I don't have any time during my day to really read the Word and focus my energy on the Lord. As I was up before the sun, reading some scripture, the gentleness of the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear. "I want to spend one-on-one time with you every morning like this. Would you sacrifice your sleep for me?" Whew....Anyone with more than one child under the age of 3 is probably shuttering right now! HA! "Okay, Lord,...I think I can....I think I can...I think I can..." was my first response. I will try! *** So, it's been 2 weeks of waking up before the sun is up, finding my way to the kitchen, making some coffee, and nestling into my couch for some one-on-one time with the Lord!! Now, I have skipped 3 days...due to some laziness on my part, but for the most part, I have genuinely ENJOYED my early morning dates with Jesus. :) And boy, what a boldness I have had since my alone time with Him. I have noticed when I am CONNECTED to the Word, my whole day is at ease. Do I still have some choices to make when my flesh gets uneasy...of course!!! Our flesh is such a hard thing to train!! But I am doing it!!!! The reason I am blogging about this is because through my discipline, I have been able to see Ryan in a different light. I am more patient and kind with him. I don't get as overwhelmed. I have an eternal perspective when things are getting crazy. More than anything in the world, I need Ryan to know that he is loved beyond measure. Well, I want that for all my kids, but I need Ryan to know it down deep because as of right now he can't express it back. And that's ok. I have seen tidbits of his love language here and there and I hold on to those moments with all my heart!!!
Okay, so I will pause here because Ben wants to write something!
This is Ben, (Ryan's Dad) and I would like to share from Ryans point of view. Here goes.
"Hi, I'm Ryan, and I'm a good boy. I love to play with my Thomas trains and my Lightening McQueen and Chick Hicks cars. Mommy takes good care of me, and is always pushing me to try and learn something new, and do big boy stuff. I really like doing things that make me feel smart, like saying all my letters of the alphabet and their sounds. Some times, when life is a little overwhelming, and also when I'm just happy, I run from room to room using my "siren" voice. Gracie lets me tackle her, which I'm good at, and Dad wrestles with me a lot, which is good outlet for my energy. I also enjoy sitting under my comforter and pretending its a tent, and playing hide and seek. I enjoy my big family, and all my extended relatives. Life is good and I can't wait to be able to share all this with my own voice."
It's Nicole Again! Whew...ok, you just got a great picture of how my son works! We can't see what he is thinking and we can't always understand his words, and we don't truly know his perspective, but we are getting there! We know that he cares deeply for things. I know we will continue to unravel the mystery of Ryan little by little, day by day. But before that, we will love him where he is.
Okay, so I will pause here because Ben wants to write something!
This is Ben, (Ryan's Dad) and I would like to share from Ryans point of view. Here goes.
"Hi, I'm Ryan, and I'm a good boy. I love to play with my Thomas trains and my Lightening McQueen and Chick Hicks cars. Mommy takes good care of me, and is always pushing me to try and learn something new, and do big boy stuff. I really like doing things that make me feel smart, like saying all my letters of the alphabet and their sounds. Some times, when life is a little overwhelming, and also when I'm just happy, I run from room to room using my "siren" voice. Gracie lets me tackle her, which I'm good at, and Dad wrestles with me a lot, which is good outlet for my energy. I also enjoy sitting under my comforter and pretending its a tent, and playing hide and seek. I enjoy my big family, and all my extended relatives. Life is good and I can't wait to be able to share all this with my own voice."
It's Nicole Again! Whew...ok, you just got a great picture of how my son works! We can't see what he is thinking and we can't always understand his words, and we don't truly know his perspective, but we are getting there! We know that he cares deeply for things. I know we will continue to unravel the mystery of Ryan little by little, day by day. But before that, we will love him where he is.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
A Long Month--December 20, 2011
So, it has been FOREVER since I last posted and for that I am very sorry. I have seen some major milestones passed as well as some regression on Ryan's part and I will try my best to recount each one!
So, I will start with some milestones that we have recently seen in our wonderful Ryan boy! Eye contact, which is always a hard concept for children with Autism has been becoming a reality for Ryan! This is something I am very grateful for. He has been becoming more and more aware of his surroundings...even looking around when we are eating at an unfamiliar restaurant. We were eating at a Mexican restaurant a couple of months ago and while we were eating I could see Ryan constantly looking behind him at a woman who had long, brunette hair. I was wondering what he was thinking. I kept asking him, "Ryan, do you like her hair?" No response. After we had finished our food and we were getting our coats together, Ryan ran towards this woman and started playing with her hair!!! I was absolutely SHOCKED beyond belief. If anyone knows Ryan, you know he would never go to an unfamiliar person, let alone touch their hair!!! hahahahahahaha.... I apologized to the woman and told her I thought he liked her hair. She was laughing and said her son does the exact same thing! :) Whew...I know this sounds odd, but I was completely encouraged by this undignified act! He wasn't just functioning in his own little world. He found something around him that he was intrigued with and became curious about it. He is coming out of his shell!!
Ryan has always been very interested in letters. He knows all the letters in the alphabet and also knows every sound (Thank you, Letter Factory by Leap Pad!!! :)) Recently, he has been wanting me to make actual words with the letters. We are working on sounding all the letters out and blending the sounds. He is getting it!!! Gracie is just know learning the same concept and I have a feeling he will bypass her at some point! He loves it! As of right now he doesn't have the ability to hold a pencil, but that is coming...I KNOW IT!
He is also using his words a lot more now. We have 3-word sentences pretty much down! :) Most of the time I hear, "I want chocolate!" haha...he is my chocolate boy!!
A few regressions that I have seen lately are a little disheartening, but that's to be expected, I suppose. Ryan has a "siren" I call it. He will run from room to room squeeling in a high-pitched tone. I don't exactly know why he does this because it's pretty random. I do notice when there are more people in our house than normal it gets higher and louder. I think it's his way of coping with loud sounds around him...like he is trying to block it out using a louder sound? This is only a guess. Ben and I have decided it's fine for him to do it at our house, but we have tried to make it a point to put the boundary on when we are out in public. We have explained to him that he can use his "siren" when we are at home, but at church, at a restaurant or at someone else's house, he has to put his "siren" away. He is slowly understanding, but still has a hard time with louder atmospheres.
Ryan is still choosing not to speak when spoken to the first time. I have to ask a question about 3 times before he acknowledges me. I understand this is common with Autistic people, but it is hard as a mom...especially with three other demanding children. I try to make special time carved out for each of them, but there is still not enough time! I have had a hard time with this lately. Depression has tried to creep into my happy little home. I have been hearing the enemy tell me I am not a good mother or wife. My house is always a mess, my kids aren't responding to my discipline, my husband is going to leave, autism is too much of a challenge...might as well give up...Yah, major lies from satan himself. I have had to fight these lies SO MUCH lately. Every little mess and pile of laundry has been so overwhelming to me that it paralyzes me. This is not to get sympathy from any of you readers out there...I am just being honest. I have really good, empowering days, then I have battles. I have been at this battle for about a month now, but I am still fighting. Only with God's truth can I do this! He has been so faithful through this time and I am so THANKFUL for that. God recently told me this as I was crying at the alter at church a couple of Sundays ago:
"Nicole, I didn't give you Ryan because I don't love you. I LOVE YOU, THAT'S WHY I GAVE RYAN TO YOU!" Shew...can you say REVELATION! He knew I could care for Ryan exactly how Ryan needs to be cared for. Talk about empowering! I love it when God intervenes in our weakness. For in our weakness, HE IS MADE STRONG! Thank you, Jesus!!!
Well, that's all for now! I will probably write in about 6 months from now! hahahaha...Sorry it's been so sporatic. I only have a chance to write now because Josiah (5 months) is napping and it's so nice outside, Gracie (5 in January), Ryan (3) and Olivia (2 in January) are all playing outside!! Yes, I love these mild December temperatures this year.
I pray everyone has a wonderful holiday season with many blessings from above!!!
So, I will start with some milestones that we have recently seen in our wonderful Ryan boy! Eye contact, which is always a hard concept for children with Autism has been becoming a reality for Ryan! This is something I am very grateful for. He has been becoming more and more aware of his surroundings...even looking around when we are eating at an unfamiliar restaurant. We were eating at a Mexican restaurant a couple of months ago and while we were eating I could see Ryan constantly looking behind him at a woman who had long, brunette hair. I was wondering what he was thinking. I kept asking him, "Ryan, do you like her hair?" No response. After we had finished our food and we were getting our coats together, Ryan ran towards this woman and started playing with her hair!!! I was absolutely SHOCKED beyond belief. If anyone knows Ryan, you know he would never go to an unfamiliar person, let alone touch their hair!!! hahahahahahaha.... I apologized to the woman and told her I thought he liked her hair. She was laughing and said her son does the exact same thing! :) Whew...I know this sounds odd, but I was completely encouraged by this undignified act! He wasn't just functioning in his own little world. He found something around him that he was intrigued with and became curious about it. He is coming out of his shell!!
Ryan has always been very interested in letters. He knows all the letters in the alphabet and also knows every sound (Thank you, Letter Factory by Leap Pad!!! :)) Recently, he has been wanting me to make actual words with the letters. We are working on sounding all the letters out and blending the sounds. He is getting it!!! Gracie is just know learning the same concept and I have a feeling he will bypass her at some point! He loves it! As of right now he doesn't have the ability to hold a pencil, but that is coming...I KNOW IT!
He is also using his words a lot more now. We have 3-word sentences pretty much down! :) Most of the time I hear, "I want chocolate!" haha...he is my chocolate boy!!
A few regressions that I have seen lately are a little disheartening, but that's to be expected, I suppose. Ryan has a "siren" I call it. He will run from room to room squeeling in a high-pitched tone. I don't exactly know why he does this because it's pretty random. I do notice when there are more people in our house than normal it gets higher and louder. I think it's his way of coping with loud sounds around him...like he is trying to block it out using a louder sound? This is only a guess. Ben and I have decided it's fine for him to do it at our house, but we have tried to make it a point to put the boundary on when we are out in public. We have explained to him that he can use his "siren" when we are at home, but at church, at a restaurant or at someone else's house, he has to put his "siren" away. He is slowly understanding, but still has a hard time with louder atmospheres.
Ryan is still choosing not to speak when spoken to the first time. I have to ask a question about 3 times before he acknowledges me. I understand this is common with Autistic people, but it is hard as a mom...especially with three other demanding children. I try to make special time carved out for each of them, but there is still not enough time! I have had a hard time with this lately. Depression has tried to creep into my happy little home. I have been hearing the enemy tell me I am not a good mother or wife. My house is always a mess, my kids aren't responding to my discipline, my husband is going to leave, autism is too much of a challenge...might as well give up...Yah, major lies from satan himself. I have had to fight these lies SO MUCH lately. Every little mess and pile of laundry has been so overwhelming to me that it paralyzes me. This is not to get sympathy from any of you readers out there...I am just being honest. I have really good, empowering days, then I have battles. I have been at this battle for about a month now, but I am still fighting. Only with God's truth can I do this! He has been so faithful through this time and I am so THANKFUL for that. God recently told me this as I was crying at the alter at church a couple of Sundays ago:
"Nicole, I didn't give you Ryan because I don't love you. I LOVE YOU, THAT'S WHY I GAVE RYAN TO YOU!" Shew...can you say REVELATION! He knew I could care for Ryan exactly how Ryan needs to be cared for. Talk about empowering! I love it when God intervenes in our weakness. For in our weakness, HE IS MADE STRONG! Thank you, Jesus!!!
Well, that's all for now! I will probably write in about 6 months from now! hahahaha...Sorry it's been so sporatic. I only have a chance to write now because Josiah (5 months) is napping and it's so nice outside, Gracie (5 in January), Ryan (3) and Olivia (2 in January) are all playing outside!! Yes, I love these mild December temperatures this year.
I pray everyone has a wonderful holiday season with many blessings from above!!!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
"Temple Grandin" September 6, 2011
Wow. So, Ben and I rented the made for tv movie entitled "Temple Grandin". For those that don't know, this is a movie about a woman who was diagnosed with Autism in the 1950s. Back then the common "treatment" was sending those with Autism into institutions. Temple Grandin is an amazing testimony to proving the "professionals" wrong. She was able to manage her Autism by using it to her advantage. She saw in pictures and was able to use those pictures to create amazing technology that is being used today. She is a PH.D and a professor at Colorado State. She is also one of the leading advocates for Autism. She speaks all around the nation. IN FACT...she is coming to EKU September 22!!!!! AND I AM GOING! :) I was so encouraged by this movie because I could see the Lord's hand in this woman's life. I dont' know if she is a Christian or even believes in God, but to see the amazing "coincidences" that occured to allow her to come up with the amazing technology that is being used to this day is simply miraculous. This movie also allowed me to gain an even better perspective on how to see Ryan. Sometimes I think, "why isn't he getting it? I have told him this a million times..." But he thinks differently and I need to be able to dig deeper and see how he thinks and capitalize on that. There is great potential in Ryan and I know I haven't even begun to scratch the surface! I can't wait to see how the Lord leads him...it's going to be big!! In the words of Temple Grandin, Ryan may be different, but he is NOT less!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
"Long Time No See" August 24th, 2011
So, having 3 small children and a newborn has totally taken me away from blogging! Whew...but I am going to TRY to continue to blog as much as I can.
Well, we just got back from Gatlinburg, TN last night! My brother and his lovely family are in town from Oregon and we decided to take a nice family vacation. IT WAS AWESOME. I saw some interesting things in Ryan boy on this trip, however. As we were leaving on the trip Ryan had a MAJOR MELTDOWN. It was a "grand-mal" of a tantrum...which we haven't seen in a long time. Before we left mom and dad's house, we were all talking about swimming at the resort we were going to and Ryan thought we were going to swim in the little kiddie pool outside mom and dad's house. As we were walking out, Ryan began to flip out. I tried to call him outside, but he wouldn't budge. We tried explaining, "No, Ryan, we are going to go swimming in Gatlinburg! Won't that be fun??" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Was the only response we were getting. Ben finally picked him up as he was kicking, screaming, spitting, hitting. It was a sight. After much strength, Ben got him buckled in his seat. He was completely red-faced and sweating...so was Ryan! :) I joke, but at that moment I was panicking. I was thinking, "Oh, no...have we regressed? Is this going to happen more? How are we supposed to help him? Will he be like this forever?" I began to cry. Everyone wants their children to understand them and feel "normal." My whole family met up at a local grocery store to get some last minute items for the trip and to pray, which is a family tradition before road trips. They all noticed I was crying and asked what was the matter. I couldn't even get words out. I know he is my gift from God, but sometimes our perspectives get skewed by the circumstances surrounding our gifts. It's hard work! I see progress some days, then regression on other days. And boy, that certainly goes against my own agenda! I am one of those people that likes a clean house, a schedule of events, clean children....the list goes on. Basically, I like control. God is definitely teaching me, through Ryan, that I am NOT in control, but HE IS! He created Ryan and has a purpose and a plan for my little boy.....and it's NOT my plan. Slowly, but surely I am releasing my hands on the situation and letting God move in Ryan's life and mine. It's not my will, but God's will.
God is good and He is continuing to teach me many things about Ryan, my family, Autism and life. It's a crazy life, for sure, but God is the one holding everything together. Thank you, Jesus!
Well, we just got back from Gatlinburg, TN last night! My brother and his lovely family are in town from Oregon and we decided to take a nice family vacation. IT WAS AWESOME. I saw some interesting things in Ryan boy on this trip, however. As we were leaving on the trip Ryan had a MAJOR MELTDOWN. It was a "grand-mal" of a tantrum...which we haven't seen in a long time. Before we left mom and dad's house, we were all talking about swimming at the resort we were going to and Ryan thought we were going to swim in the little kiddie pool outside mom and dad's house. As we were walking out, Ryan began to flip out. I tried to call him outside, but he wouldn't budge. We tried explaining, "No, Ryan, we are going to go swimming in Gatlinburg! Won't that be fun??" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Was the only response we were getting. Ben finally picked him up as he was kicking, screaming, spitting, hitting. It was a sight. After much strength, Ben got him buckled in his seat. He was completely red-faced and sweating...so was Ryan! :) I joke, but at that moment I was panicking. I was thinking, "Oh, no...have we regressed? Is this going to happen more? How are we supposed to help him? Will he be like this forever?" I began to cry. Everyone wants their children to understand them and feel "normal." My whole family met up at a local grocery store to get some last minute items for the trip and to pray, which is a family tradition before road trips. They all noticed I was crying and asked what was the matter. I couldn't even get words out. I know he is my gift from God, but sometimes our perspectives get skewed by the circumstances surrounding our gifts. It's hard work! I see progress some days, then regression on other days. And boy, that certainly goes against my own agenda! I am one of those people that likes a clean house, a schedule of events, clean children....the list goes on. Basically, I like control. God is definitely teaching me, through Ryan, that I am NOT in control, but HE IS! He created Ryan and has a purpose and a plan for my little boy.....and it's NOT my plan. Slowly, but surely I am releasing my hands on the situation and letting God move in Ryan's life and mine. It's not my will, but God's will.
God is good and He is continuing to teach me many things about Ryan, my family, Autism and life. It's a crazy life, for sure, but God is the one holding everything together. Thank you, Jesus!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
"A Long Night" June 8, 2011
Well, recently Ben and I have had many people tell us of some interesting research that reveals that gluten in the diet has an adverse affect on children with autism. I have been looking into it, but honestly, not very hard. Basically, the three ingredients you want to avoid are wheat, barley and rye. What foods don't have those ingredients in them?!? I don't know if any of you have had to change your diets....but it's HARD. We are used to eating certain foods and learned to like those certain foods VERY MUCH! :( So, I have been resisting this disruption....UNTIL TODAY! I made fettucini alfredo last night. Yes, LOTS OF WHEAT! And, boy, did we pay for it. Now, the research that has been done regarding gluten and children with autism has revealed that it just doesn't settle right with these kiddos. Children with autism don't have the right processing elements physically that "normal" people have anyway, so processing gluten is a nightmare! They call it "leaky intestine", which is basically diarrea and gluten also has a "drug-like" affect on them. Their senses are dulled and they don't feel pain like they normally would. So, when you take gluten out, they are sharper and can concentrate better, supposedly....as well as have normal bowel movements. So, last night...after the carb load...Ryan was awake from 1:30am to 5!!!!!!!!!! Not sure if his little body just didn't know what to do or what. He hadn't taken a nap that day either, so I know he had to have been tired! After a very, very looooong night, I decided to research as much as I could about changing our diet. Thankfully, many people are on the search for gluten-free diets, so the mainstream grocery stores are starting to provide for this need with gluten-free signs and aisles. It will be yet another interesting process to start, but I am very willing to seek help for my Ryan's health!
If any of you know anything about gluten-free meals/recipes/ideas/suggestions for kids, I will take all of the advice WILLINGLY! :) Thanks!!!
If any of you know anything about gluten-free meals/recipes/ideas/suggestions for kids, I will take all of the advice WILLINGLY! :) Thanks!!!
"Wake Up" June 7, 2011
So there are multiple times during the day that Ryan will come up to me, grab my shoulder and say, "Wake Up! Wake Up!" Obviously, I am very awake and I tell him that. "Yes, Ryan, mommy is awake!" But the other day when he did this, the Holy Spirit very gently said, "Nicole, are there places in your life that are 'sleeping'? Have you "fallen asleep" in some areas in your life?" Wow. I was taken aback at first. As I was pondering about this question and folding laundry I was taking an assessment of my life. Now I have to say, I didn't feel condemned in the least! God wasn't trying to hit me over the head or anything...He was just gently using the Holy Spirit to reveal to me some areas that needed to wake up! The area that really stuck out to me was speaking truth and life into my circumstances. The verse that was highlighted after that revelation was Ezekiel and the dry bones (Ezekiel 37: 1-14). When God tells Ezekiel to prophesy to the dry bones (dead places) and the bones awaken...that hit me hard! But I like how the focus is not on Ezekiel, but on the LORD! "Then you shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O My people, and brought you up from your graves. I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the Lord, have spoken it and performed it, says the Lord." We merely rely on the Lord for guidance and He does the work! He breathes life into the dead/asleep places in our lives when we walk out the obedience! Whew...all that with one simple phrase that my little Ryan says to me all the time..."WAKE UP!!!" Thank you, Lord, for using my wonderful 3 year old boy!!!
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